I think I know what caused my restlessness lately. Going home, next week. Ever since my sister emailed me my flight ticket last month, I was restless.
It's not like I don't like going home, but I don't know.. it just.. maybe home is not something I can deal with right now. What with all the drama and stuffs.
And my sister called me this morning, to discuss our departure plan. I can't think of anything, I just nod along and say yes, or yeah, or ok.. I didn't know what to say. Why is it, that going home become something I don't think I can endure right now?
I love home, love my family.. but maybe.. just maybe.. I need to be alone right now. It's probably nothing, probably just me being selfish.. but maybe they were right. Parents separating is hard. Especially when it's not a mutual decision. You're stuck in the middle. Stuck. I hate being stuck.
And it's rainy season... and I'm going to smell the rain again.. and all the memories will be rushing back to my head.. sometimes.. it just too much..
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