Yeah, we do need to make peace with ourselves, and the world. And sadly, one of my peace is talking to you.. Sad, cause that mean that I'll be dependent, one thing I always try to avoid.
So my restlessness is slowly disappearing after we had a chat. Not so nice of a chat, I must say, cause he's still trying to win every argument and just love to "break my logic". I told him, my logic is fine, it's not broken. But if you have counter argument, lets hear it.
But what I thought was a heated argument, he called it, "It's nothing. This is a normal discussion". Wow, doesn't make me want to know what is his kind of heated argument.
And it's not just me who's being restless lately. He is too, for a different reason. Now he said he want to leave this world. Yes, this world, as in dying. And he envy those who has "gone home" while he want it so badly, he doesn't get to be "called home".
So I reminded him, that death is certain. Why waste your time waiting for something that's so certain? Why not just enjoy this delay. Do something useful, instead of moping around wasting that brilliant mind about something that's surely coming. I told him, I'm no saint, but I'll be ready if He decided to call me "home" tonight. I'll be ready, be ready to be punished, be ready for anything. Yes, like I said, I'm no saint, I know the punishment will come, it will be severe, but may He also consider the good little things I did. Maybe He will, maybe not. Who knows?
All I know, just thinking about it and get yourself depressed is not the answer to that restlessness. It'd be better if you do something, anything. Hopefully, doing good things, not the bad ones. Fine your peace with death, don't be afraid, and live your life. Put some meaning in your life, and stop sulking.
And that's for today's lecture, guys.. Find that inner peace! ;)
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